Do you hate to forgive those who have committed unspeakable crimes on you or your loved ones?
It is understandable to feel the hate when you have been hurt badly. But how long we hold on to it and how much damage it is doing to us are important points to consider. Otherwise the harm caused to us may be far greater than the actual crime.
When we are holding on to the hate and the pain, two crimes are being committed. One by the perpetrator and another by the victim. Which crime is doing more harm is a good topic for a debate. But would you want your life to be a subject of debate?
We would like to live with a sense of well-being, rather than have a debate on why that well-being has been snatched away from us, or by whom, isn't it?
Love, Hate and Forgiveness are all highly charged topics with people taking polarized positions on them. People have strong feelings surrounding this topic and it's a good practice to examine your own views and opinions on this subject while evaluating what others have to speak about it.
With self-awareness comes power. With this power, you can take control over your own emotional and mental stability.
I have noticed that when I sweep the hurt, the anger and the need to seek vengeance under the carpet, it lurks there and bites me at unexpected times. But when I look it in the face, accept it for what it is and choose to move on and create a new future, it becomes a release and lightens me considerably.
Watch the below video to understand how deep and how raw it feels to let go ...
What I learned from Sarah Montana is that Forgiveness is hard. One does not want to forgive when the perpetrator is still around and unpunished. It seems pointless and unnecessary to forgive, till your hurt has gone beyond hurting and you are ready to let it go. You are never sure what to do. Is it too soon? Is it too late? Who is to tell.
When you feel ready, let it go. But if it feels too soon, it is ok to feel the raw pain as long as you can bear it. But whenever you are ready, it is possible to let it go. When you realise that it is not about the person who caused the pain, but it is about you causing yourself and those around you the continuing pain, that it dawns on you the sudden realisation that it is time to let it go.
For those who want to learn to forgive, Ho’oponopono a powerful ancient Hawaiian prayer, can come to your rescue.
There are four simple steps to this method, and the order is not that important. Repentance, Forgiveness, Gratitude and Love are the only forces at work – but these forces have amazing healing power.
The best part of Ho’oponopono is you can do it yourself, you don’t need anyone else to be there, you don’t need anyone to hear you. You can “say” the words in your head. The power is in the feeling and in the willingness of the Universe to forgive and love.
Step 1:
Repentance
I AM SORRY
You are responsible for everything in your mind, even if it seems to be “out there.” Once you realize that, it’s very natural to feel sorry. This realization can be painful, and you will likely resist accepting responsibility for the “out there” kind of problems until you start to practice this method on your more obvious “in here” problems and see results.
So choose something that you already know you’ve caused for yourself? What are the challenges you are facing in you life currently? Health issues, emotional issues, financial issues, addiction or anger issues? Start there and say you’re sorry.
That’s the whole step: I AM SORRY.
Although I think it is more powerful if you say it more clearly: “I realize that I am responsible for the (issue) in my life and I feel terribly sorry that something in me has caused this.”
Step 2:
Ask Forgiveness
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
Don’t worry about who you’re asking. Just ask! PLEASE FORGIVE ME. Say it over and over again. Mean it. Remember your remorse from step 1 as you ask to be forgiven.
Step 3:
Gratitude
THANK YOU
Say “THANK YOU” – again it doesn’t really matter who or what you’re thanking. Thank your body for all it does for you. Thank yourself for being the best you can be. Thank God. Thank the Universe. Thank whatever it was that just forgave you.
Just keep saying THANK YOU.
Step 4:
Love
I LOVE YOU
This can also be step 1. Say I LOVE YOU. Say it to your body, say it to God. Say I LOVE YOU to the air you breathe, to the food on your table, the house that shelters you, the people who are helping you. Say I LOVE YOU to your challenges. Say it over and over. Mean it. Feel it. There is nothing as powerful as Love.
That’s it. The whole practice in a nutshell. Simple and amazingly effective.
I AM SORRY.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
THANK YOU
I LOVE YOU
That is it. Repeat it again and again as you feel yourself heal from the inside..
I hope this article helps you to deal with those buried memories that may be haunting you. Do share your thoughts on the best ways to deal with your thoughts and emotions and the best ways to heal yourself from them.